The Adventures of Scruffy-Face and Razor Man, Vol. 1

Is it odd that I have 3 New Year’s resolutions already?

Background: I never have New Year’s resolutions. And on the rare occasion that I do, I never make it past January, keeping them. It infuriates me to no end.

But this year, ohh this year, things will be different. I swear it.

Quite possibly, the reason I never make it a full year is because of the insane impossibility of the resolutions I give myself. Such as last year. After taking a nutrition/health foods class, I vowed to go an entire year [and hopefully the rest of my life *thumbs up!*] without using a microwave.

You heard me.

Obviously, I made it to January 8th, and then gave up on that particular resolution.

Infuriaaaaaation.

But this year I have some very “do-able” resolutions. At least… they seem that way at this point… Mr. Microwave resolution seemed “do-able” at the time…

And we all know how that turned out.

SUBJECT CHANGE.

Some random strangers at the dollar store made my day today. After placing my items on the counter, the scruffy, twenty-something cashier barely glanced at me before asking “You guys find everything alright?” Catching his use of the words “You guys”, I looked behind me and discovered another scruffy, bed-headed twenty-something with a packet of neon pink razors in his hand.

Observation 1) Razor Man is my age

Observation 2) Razor Man is buying razors for his sister/girlfriend/wife [With the laters being more likely]

Observation 3) Razor Man obviously has character and/or a good sense of humor to wield a packet of Pepto pink razors defiantly, as he is so doing

Observation 4) Scruffy-face Cashier thinks Razor Man and I are together

Observing these things, I laugh and tell Scruffy-face, “Oh, it’s just me” attempting to inform him of my lack of relationship with Razor Man without causing him embarrassment. “Oh, my bad y’all,” Scruffy says, and Razor Man chuckles behind me.

Observation 5) Razor Man, as assumed before, has a good sense of humor

So after paying my dues to Scruffy-face, pocketing my receipt, and gathering my plastic sacks, I, on a whim, flash a smile and wave to Razor Man with a chipper “Bye honey!” then proceed to walk out the door, the uproarious laughter of Scruffy and Razor Man and all the other customers pretending not to eavesdrop following me until I’m outside.

It doesn’t sound quite so funny now, but it still makes me chuckle, just thinking about it.

My days are made by random, scruffy-faced, bed-headed, dollar store shoppers.

That could be a song.

Speaking of songs…

300 Violin Orchestra just started playing on my iTunes shuffle… Now I feel the need to take a heroic stance.

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  1. December 13th, 2011

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